Famed Waterfront Property Buccaneer
Inaugurated To Preside Over
Potomac Fever -- Swamp Fleet
Sea Level Rise Makes Mar del Lago Natural Base
For Dread Privateer Trump
The President ( be he kin o'the Dutch Admiral?) having by Surprize got the weather Gage of the Low Whig candidate, Mifstress Clinton, told a Capitol quarterdeck crowd far too large to reckon on his fingers that, for sure as a rising tide lifts all galleons, he giveth not the Fig of Spain for the huge Flight of Whiggish Lubbers, Liberals & such-like bilge rats flushed down the Virginee Tidewater from the fever swamps of the Potomock.
Many an Aarrrgh! has been heard in the Port O'New York
of late, for the China Trade be run hard and fast aground.
Bo'suns can't shanghai able bodied heathens enough to man the yards as a Dearth of Barbarees, Levanters & Lascaradoes be coming ashore. As Trump's embargo of them sorts leaves nought for the press-gangs to belay, a savvy South Street bilge barrister should be ensigned to survey yer Black Book of Admiralty for to see ifn this scurvy Musulman ban be not contrary to th'Code.