Wednesday, March 20, 2013

THE COLOSSUS OF BUSH

                             Who needs the Biennale ? 

If you're sailing to Byzantium this summer, skip Venice and drop in on Albania's Côte Concrèt to view the astonishing retrospective of works by Heads Of State awaiting you in the postmodern pearl of the Adriatic, Fushë-Krujë, contemporary art capital of Nato's 28th nation!


The show features the nocturnes and cat paintings of Xhorxh Bush 43, who already stands immortalized in bronze nearby upon a plinth previously occupied by Enver Hoxa, Fearless Leader of the Peoples Republic of Sqip, and King Zog of blessed memory before him.

Albania hopes to suck tourists ashore like an Illyrian Charybdis by turning its phalanx of coastal pillboxes into a pantheon of bronze colossi honoring those unsung Skanderbegs of the culture wars, America's Former Vice-Presidential Chiefs Of Staff, from Spiro Agnew's mentor Artur Smër, to Cheney's loyal lieutenant Skotor Libbë, and the head of Dan Quayle's brain trust, Vlym Xristol.

With Post-Palladian architectural treasures rivaling Skagway and Aruba, no National Review, Weekly Standard or Front Page seminar cruise should resist the siren call of this New Atlantis, only an hour's drive from the ancestral home of John Belushi and Mother Teresa International Airport, whence Bush '43's whirlwind Balkans tour dropped in on Fushë-Krujë in 2007. 

While my friend Taki avers the bronze  colossus celebrates Bush ridding the Abanians of Kosovo, or Kosovo of the Albanians, it may be the Fushë-Krujënes apologetic ex voto for having stolen GWB's watch off the Presidential wrist as he worked the welcoming crowd.