Tuesday, February 4, 2025

                 UP FROM VEGANUARY     


WHILE  AUSTRALIAN  VEGANS STRIVE TO PASS TOFU  OFF AS KENTUCKY FRIED SWAN , AN  AI  IMPERSONATOR HALLUCINATES ON THE  UNDERLYING QUESTION:

Can You Eat Swans?


Answer

Yes, you can eat swans. In fact, they are quite tasty. Swans are a bit fatty, but they have a delicate flavor that is worth savoring. They are often cooked with butter and herbs, which brings out their best qualities. Some people also enjoy eating their eggs.


Who Is Allowed To Eat Swans?

According to the USDA, anyone over the age of six can legally kill and eat a swan. This includes children as long as they are supervised by an adult. The only exception to this rule is if you are in possession of a hunting or fishing license and you are using your licensed firearm to kill or capture the swan.


Why Can Only The Queen Eat Swan?

The Queen is the only one in the world that can eat a swan. Legend has it that when the Queen was younger, she lost her brother in a hunting accident. Her father, the King, made her promise to take revenge on all of the other princes for what had happened. So, she began to eat swans. Nobody knows why she’s the only one who can do it, but she’s been able to do it for centuries. The King always gives her a new swan each time, and she eats it in front of all of her courtiers.


Can You Go To Jail For Killing A Swan?

In the United States, it is against the law to kill any type of bird. 


However, there is a small chance that someone could be arrested and jailed for killing a swan. 

The law is actually based on a 1938 case in which two brothers were charged with killing a swan. The brothers claimed that they had been hunting ducks when they came across the swan and shot it accidentally.


However, the court ruled in favor of the prosecution and sentenced the brothers to six months in jail. Since then, anyone convicted of killing a swan has faced serious consequences, including jail time.


Can You Shoot Swans?

Generally speaking, the answer is no. There are a few cases where it may be legal to shoot swans, but for the most part, this is not something that people do. Many reasons exist for why shooting swans is generally discouraged. The primary reason is because it can cause significant damage to both the birds and the environment. Additionally, shooting swan can also be dangerous for those involved.


Is A Swan A Goose?

The answer to this question is a little bit complicated. Generally speaking, swans are considered to be birds of the goose family, while geese are considered to be birds of the duck family. However, there are some exceptions to this rule. For example, the trumpeter swan is generally considered to be a bird of the swan family, but it is also related to the goose family because it breeds in water and has a duck-like bill. So, technically, it is a bird of both families.


Can You Eat White Swans?

The answer to this question is not as cut and dry as one might think. 


While there is no clear consensus on whether or not white swans are kosher, many authorities contend that they are not kosher because they have a prominent beak. Others maintain that the primary criterion for determining if a bird is kosher is if it has a split hoof, which does not appear to be the case with white swans. In any case, it would seem wise to consult a knowledgeable rabbi before attempting to enjoy this succulent bird on Pesach.


How Do You Make Swan Meat?


Making swan meat can be a fun and rewarding experience for the home cook. The basic steps are as follows:


1) Capture the swan. A hunting license is not required, but you must follow all state regulations when capturing the bird.


2) Gather all of the necessary supplies. These include a capture net, a knife, a cutting board, some clean water, and some food for the bird (such as bread). 


3) Once you have gathered your supplies, head to a nearby body of water where you will find plenty of wild swans swimming around.


4) When you find a suitable bird, approach it cautiously and set up your net. Try to avoid making any sudden movements that could spook the swan.


Sunday, February 2, 2025

POLITICAL CLIMATE BLAMED FOR DC BIRD MIGRATION

Senior Pentagon officials have suggested Breitbart should share press corridor space with the DOD Animal Veterans Aviary for formerly embedded emotional support parrots:


The Aviary is expected to house new endangered species as political climate change continues



Wednesday, January 29, 2025

AFTER MARS, WILL MUSK SEEK INTELLIGENT LIFE
                           ON PLANET MURDOCH ?


 The Wall Street Journal 

     March 11 2005    Arts & Leisure Section   Taste Commentary 

     Reading The Red Planet

 

 

By  Russell Seitz

 

           In 1880, a myopic Harvard graduate was almost killed galloping headlong into the captain of an opposing polo team. Given a telescope to gaze through as a convalescent pastime, Percival Lowell soon thought that he saw not just canals on Mars but greenery. He devoted himself to astronomy and founded an eponymous observatory in Flagstaff, Ariz.

 

    But much of what he sketched of Mars others could neither see nor photograph. In 1976 NASA’s Viking Lander revealed a panorama of desolation—a world seemingly as dead as Lowell’s reputation. Yet science often beggars fiction. A generation later, a whiff of embalming fluid may herald the discovery of life on Mars.

 

   Last year, a flood of purple prose about water as the cradle of life on the Red Planet flowed from the Opportunity probe’s discovery that Mars’s saline sands were once as damp as the underside of a walrus. This year, a satellite orbiting the planet has found evidence of an equator once carpeted by ice floes and a recently active geyser. Things have gotten more colorful too. Beyond hematite blueberries and green vitriol on the surface, the spectrum of the Martian atmosphere shows inklings of organic complexity.

 

   Earthbound telescopes have found more than inklings. There is, it now appears, formaldehyde along with methane—i.e., coal gas—in Mars’s tenuous air. This is a big deal because they exist in equilibrium, a discovery rich with vital implications. Oxygen and sunlight turn methane into the deadly preservative, but because Mars lacks an ozone layer, the pungent formaldehyde molecules are soon zapped out of existence by ultraviolet rays. The solar wind is blasting methane off the top of the Martian stratosphere, too, so the megatons of formaldehyde in the Martian air imply a constant infusion of fresh methane.

 

   So what? Some geophysicists insist that methane on Earth arises from inorganic sources (e.g., carbide minerals), not just from life (either end of a cow) and its decay (coal). But unlike the tectonically vigorous Earth, Mars’s effete geology lacks a crustal conveyor belt to exhume gases from its depths. Absent such upheaval, Occam’s razor cuts in: The alternative methane source is life.

 

   Ah, life on Mars! We’ve heard that one before. Few other potential tourist destinations have offered so wide a range of speculation. Edgar Rice Burroughs, better known for Tarzan, tipped his hat to Trollope by portraying Mars as hunt country, where Confederate veteran  John Carter meets not little green men, but fifteen footers  with  four arms and an attitude. Before long he encounters red,  white,  and  yellow Martians galloping  astride  eight legged saber-toothed sloths, pursuing ten legged foxes and maidens demurely attired in stainless-steel brassieres.

 

    The high-water mark of Hollywood’s Saturday serials was Flash Gordon’s arrival on the Martian scene. Hot on the heels of Orson Welles’s 1938 “War of the Worlds” broadcast came “Flash Gordon’s Trip to Mars,”  Though the thinly fictionalized  Gordon was billed as  the son of Yale’s Observatory  Director and captain of its polo team, rounding up eight legged ponies  posed  a casting problem,  so as a  concession   to  Burroughs’  , the  hero  was shown wrestling an octopus in the aquarium of Ming the Merciless, the  art deco eco-terrorist whose  favorite toy, the  climate destroying  Nitron raygun  has made a comeback in  Michael Crichton’s latest technothriller. America loved Flash, and Cole Porter soon had Bing Crosby crooning: “Have you heard, it’s in the stars, / Next July we collide with Mars?”  

 

Porter was 35 years off, but eventually collide we did—more space probes have crashed on Mars than landed. NASA’s past failures to fish up Martian life may be due to random bad luck with landing sites—one mile off a Palm Springs fairway , the landscape seems as sterile as Death Valley. Magnification matters, too. It’s hard to overlook a cavalry of giant sloth, but bacteria are seriously small and often tucked into unattractive places.

 

   It makes one wonder what we may have missed. Bits of Mars are occasionally flung to Earth by impacting asteroids, ending up as the meteorites called shergottites. Reports of tiny fossils in one of them have not panned out, but the rocks match the isotopic composition of Mars so exactly that few doubt that they have been whacked into the inner solar system like golf balls of the gods. Plain-vanilla physics likewise dictates that bits of Earth have hit the Martian fairways over the eons too. One day, Earthmen on Mars may trip over alien-looking rocks from home.

 

   This is less peculiar than it sounds. Deep space is a hostile place, but precisely because it’s cold out there, cosmic rays and the solar wind can take a long time to sterilize the rocks flying through it. What if a hypervelocity impact on Earth sent not bits of dead dinosaur but some mineral-encased spores clear to Mars?

 

If anything earthly got to Mars alive, it can have done only one of three things: lived long, prospered or died. If hardy critters from Earth’s ecological skid row landed in Martian brine 10 or 10,000 eons ago—bacteria that thrive in acid hot springs, for instance, or Antarctic frost heaves—it’s bad news for Carl Sagan fans today. What will become of funding for the SETI project—searching for extraterrestrial intelligence—if we meet the aliens and they is us? Or us is them?

 

It would be nice to have some evidence either way. A few strenuous years could see the dispatch of some purpose-built probes to solve the conundrum. Recent Mars-destined instruments have focused not on life but on rocks, and you can’t do molecular biology with a geologist’s pick. NASA needs money enough to send several robots (in case one crashes as usual) carrying not Viking’s Edsel-vintage life detectors but 21st-century mass spectrometers, biochips and glimmerings of artificial intelligence to run them.

 

If this little fleet sniffs a shift in the light and heavy isotopes in the air, or notices DNA in whatever damp cavern it can drill into, it’s even money that we will have to get used to having neighbors. But don’t get your hopes up, B-movie fans. The odds against Martians sacking Grover’s Mills, N.J.—à la Orson Welles—remain, well, astronomical. Think slime and you won’t be disappointed.

 

In 1969, the Eagle landed on the moon in pathetic black and white after rising in thunder and flame  like 9/11 run backward. Mars deserves better. This time, the taxpaying audience should demand NASA’s full bandwidth and the eye-popping resolution of an IMAX camera. For if we encounter anything not of this Earth on Mars, its image will begin a new and endless iconic dynasty. You can only be alone in the same universe once.

                            UNHAND ME, CLIMATE WHIPLASH !




"“Los Angeles is burning, and accelerating hydroclimate whiplash is the key climate connection.”

That was the first line of the UCLA Press Release on a recently-published Nature review paper Swain et al. (2025): Hydroclimate Volatility on a Warming Earth.

Thanks in no small part to the huge journalistic audience that lead author Dr. Daniel Swain commands, the “climate whiplash” vernacular was immediately adopted in international headlines covering the recent Los Angeles fires:

This coverage is not entirely organic as organizations like Covering Climate Now—which advise journalists on how to frame stories through a climate lens—highlighted climate whiplash as a good talking point for the Los Angeles fires."

Wednesday, December 25, 2024

VEGAN SADISTS RELAUNCH NUT CUTLET CAMPAIGN

 

Monday, December 2, 2024

               LES MUSTS DE COP29 : FOSSIL FUEL COSMETICS

 VAINTY FAIR'S MAN IN BAKU

Bathing in Oil at a Climate Summit? It Leaves a Stain.


Anton Troianovsky reports for The New York Times




I bathed in oil during the U.N. climate summit.

It was crude oil from a half-mile underground, pumped into a bathtub at a hotel in Azerbaijan. It crept into every crevice of my submerged body and every fold of my skin. It smothered the hair on my limbs, making me look a little like an animal stuck in an oil spill.

Then came an attendant to scrape it all off.

Just a day earlier, I had been covering the United Nations’ annual climate conference, COP29, which is being held this month in Baku,… The chocolate-colored oil extracted there doesn’t burn. Instead, the locals and Azerbaijani scientists say, it heals. If you bathe in it.

But this oil, like all oil, is a finite resource. 

“They tell us that we’ve got reserves for 60 years,” said Ayten Magerramova, the head doctor at a Naftalan resort called Garabag. “After that, I don’t know.”

Once you bathe in crude oil, it’s hard to get rid of it. For that reason, the Garabag’s towels, bathrobes and bedsheets are all brown.

“The resin itself is a bit toxic,” Dr. Magerramova said. “But for skin problems, the resin really helps.”

… Marco Polo, who traveled through present-day Azerbaijan, described its oil as a “salve for men and camels affected with itch or scab.” The Soviets said the unusual molecular makeup of some of the hydrocarbons in Naftalan’s oil made it suitable for treating arthritis, infertility, eczema and... in 2020 in an Azerbaijani science journal reported that the oil has been found to work as an antiseptic and to have a “peculiar hormone-like effect on the function of sex hormones.”


Aydin Mustafayev, 62, a Naftalan native, remembers people digging wells by hand when he was a child. They filled their own jars with the oil and brought it home to treat the wounds of turkeys, dogs and sheep...

Rita Dadasheva, 64, a schoolteacher, had previously sought out Naftalan oil treatments in Baku for her arthritis. But you could tell by the color, she said, that the oil was fresher closer to the source.

“The Naftalan here is the color of melted milk chocolate,” she said. “It’s just what you need.” 

Friday, November 15, 2024

TALIBAN CLIMATEERS ADAPT HEARTLAND BEST PRACTICES

Can COP29 End 
The 100 Years Climate Jihad ?

KABUL (Ariana News): 

A Post-Czarist Russian official has demanded Taliban  representation at the UN COP-29 climate summit in Baku, Azerbaijan.

Ruslan Edelgeriyev, Special Presidential Envoy for Climate Change of the Russian Federation, said this as he met with Acting Foreign Minister Amir Khan Muttaqi in Kabul on Saturday, following the Afghan Ministry of Higher Education's Nangarhar University International Conference on Climate Change.

International Conference on Climate Change Was Held in Nangarhar University
The conference was graced by the presence of Mullah Abdul Kabir, Deputy Prime Minister for Political Affairs, the head of the Office of Administrative Affairs, Acting Ministers of Higher Education, Agriculture, Livestock, Urban Development, Rural Rehabilitation and Development, Economy, and the State Minister for Disaster Management,