Saturday, October 26, 2013

And The Earth Moved

The Mercalli Scale Rises To The Challenge of Existential threat Inflation 
I           No effect       
II          Noticed only by sensitive people   
III         Resembles traffic vibration
IV        Walkers take notice; lights swing          
V         Sleepers awakened; bells ring       
VI        Trees sway, cans fall from shelves    
VII       General alarm, cracking of walls    
VIII      Chimneys fall, some building damage          
IX        Ground cracks, houses shift, pipes break           
X          Ground deeply cracked, cathedrals collapse
XI        Suspension bridges destroyed   
XII       No buildings left standing; objects thrown in air
XIII     Tree trunks pulped, car tires flattened
XIV     Mormon missionaries defect to Temple of Poseidon
XV      Al Gore changes telethon topic 
XVI     Shoes destroyed, cats burst into flames
XVII   Ground waves strike passing aircraft
XVIII  Marble emits CO2, quartz turns to sand

XIX     Coal  seams  transformed  to  diamond

XX      Scientologists  declare  victory

XXI    Fox News  invites  seismologist  to  comment

Friday, October 25, 2013


Though the Chinese Academy of Science has sent S. Fred Singer and The Heartland Institute's other ersatz ambassadors packing from Peking, nature and centrally planned central heating have conspired to leave behind a monochrome reminder of 
the existential pleasures of unmitigated coal burning 

Tuesday, October 8, 2013


As if existential threat inflation on the left hand side of the Climate Wars were not enough, the new beau ideal of Onionspeak is hoisting his own petard at WUWT:

Lindzen: Understanding The IPCC AR5 Climate Assessment

Guest essay by Dr. Richard Lindzen
Each IPCC report seems to be required to conclude that the case for an international agreement to curb carbon dioxide has grown stronger. That is to say the IPCC report (and especially the press release accompanying the summary) is a political document, and as George Orwell noted, political language “is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.”

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Hyperinflation : Look On The Bright Side !

We hereby nominate Gideon Gono
Governor of the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe
for the Nobel peace Prize

Governor Gono is as deserving of the award as Laureate Albert Gore, for instead of raising consciousness about climate change, Governor Gono has empowered Econoluxics, the exciting new geoengineering art form that uses money to reflect away sunlight to manage global warming.

In 2009 Governor Gono won the IgNobel Prize in Mathematics.  The IgNobel Committee praised him for:“ Giving people a simple, everyday way to cope with a wide range of numbers. “by issuing  banknotes in denominations  ranging from 1 Zimbabwe Cent to 100.000,000,000,000 Zimbabwe Dollars.

Giving Gono the peace prize is a win-win proposition : besides arresting inflation by reflating Zimbabwe's gold reserves with the hefty Nobel prize medal, it can halt global warming by parlaying the award money into world-wide albedo change.

The Committee need only insist Governor Gono demonstrate good faith in his own currency by accepting the ten million Kronor Peace Prize payment in the form of Zimbabwe One Cent notes.

This is a no risk proposition, because printing the thousands of billions of trillions of colorful banknotes needed will take long enough for the Nobel Foundation to recoup the entire Kr. 10,000,000 by investment in T-bills or Grameen banking. 

The climate impact of CO2 could be reversed before the Prize is paid,  for while a Z $100,000,000,000,000 bill may not buy a single dollar or Euro, it is still worth  fully ten quadrillion (10,000,000,000,000,000) Zimbabwe One Cent bearer cheques

which as can be seen, are about three times brighter than the surface of the Earth, which presents an aveage albedo is only ~.16.

At the rates prevailing when Dr. Gono retired, a single dollar will yield over 500,000,000 square kilometers worth of biodegradable Zimbabwean paper currency, transmuting the Peace Prize into enough litter to immerse the Earth in brightly colored money! 

The high reflectivity of this new planetary layer, the Lucrosphere, will radically incease our planet's albedo, and so compensate for the loss of reflective Arctic sea ice that threatens to accelerate global warming.

 Why let humanity swelter on an insufficiently pale blue dot when shining pink Peace prize fallout can terminate global warming without the rigors of carbon taxation, the moral hazards of geoengineering, or the tedium of Vice-Presidential telethons?
Econoluxic cooling is reversible, because once the climate has cooled down, every imprisoned counterfeiter on Earth can be released to collect the sunlight- reflecting wealth that has rendered thier profession obsolete.

Econoluxics can also rid the world of hyperinflation, for even at depressed carbon credit prices, 20 square meters of bright banknotes still reflect enough sunlight to offset a tonne of CO2, making a pound of  Zimbabwe bills worth almost a penny at current rates-  at a trillionfold  improvement!