Friday, June 24, 2016

             BEWARE OF  THE MAN WITH  THREE  BAD HATS

Thank you, America!            / 

For my final broadcast to the nation on the eve of Britain’s Independence Day, the BBC asked me to imagine myself as one of the courtiers to whom Her Majesty had recently asked the question, “In one minute, give three reasons for your opinion on whether my United Kingdom should remain in or leave the European Union.”
CHRISTOPHER  MONCKTON
THE  SHERIFF  OF  BRENCHLINGHAM

My three reasons for departure, in strict order of precedence, were Democracy, Democracy, and Democracy...

I concluded my one-minute broadcast with these words: “Your Majesty, with my humble duty, I was born in a democracy; I do not live in one; but I am determined to die in one.”...

Viscount Monckton
of Brenchlamein

Indeed, No-way and Nixerland having already voted down the EU, Brexit may well be swiftly followed by Frexit, Grexit, Departugal, Italeave, Czechout, Oustria, Finish, Slovakuum, Latviaticum and Byebyegium. At this rate soon the only country still participating in the European tyranny-by-clerk will be Remainia.


The people have spoken. And the democratic spirit that inspired just over half the people of Britain to vote for national independence has its roots in the passionate devotion of the Founding Fathers of the United States to democracy. Our former colony showed us the way. Today, then, an even more heartfelt than usual 
                                “ God  bless  America ! ”
VISCOUNT MONCKTON,  LIVERYMAN OF THE 
WORSHIPFUL  COMPANY  OF  RESUME'  EMBROIDERERS



           NOT LONG AGO,  IN A GALAXY JUST ACROSS THE POND


Thursday, June 23, 2016

Brexit Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch?

As the London offices of The Spectator  and its Fleet Street allies seem to be underwater despite their plangent insistence that there has been no evidence of climate change for the past 18 years, we must turn to the Welsh highlands for referendum news:

UPDATE:       Hwyl fawr Brwsel !


                                POOR  ANDY'S  ALMANACH


Monday, June 20, 2016

                         DO CATS CAUSE GLOBAL WARMING?

THE DAILY BEAST  
EXPOSES THE CAGW CLIMATE MAFIA'S
 FAILURE TO MODEL
CATASTROPHIC RADIATIVE FORCING BY CATS,
AN EFFECT  THAT MAY RIVAL UNDERWATER VOLCANOES !


Earlier this month, Rosario Crocetta, Sicily’s regional governor, fired 180 forestry workers who had been convicted of Mafia-related crimes or who are under investigation for Mafia collusion. 

Giuseppe Antoci, president of Nebrodi Park, which was especially hard hit in the recent fires, has been the target of a number of assassination attempts, including an ambush he narrowly escaped last month.

Last summer, after a handful of fires were set, he put up surveillance cameras. When authorities looked at the footage, they were perplexed at first at the absence of humans in the areas where the fires ignited. Then they realized that the dead carcasses of cats they had been finding in the singed land were no coincidence. “They use the animals as arsonists,” he said. “They set fire to cats that then run in fear, burning all the bushes they touch.” 

Sunday, June 19, 2016

     DIGGING  FOR  GOLD  IN  THE  CAYMAN  ISLANDS  ICECAP


HERE FOR  SOPHISTICATED INVESTORS  IS AN EARLIER TESTIMONIAL FROM  NOTED PSEPHOLOGIST & SHIRTMAKER CHRISTOPHER MONCKTON :
 David Evans’ ground-breaking work is a devastating new approach to the climate question. I have been lucky enough to observe the development of this project, and am full of admiration for both Jo and David for their dedication to carrying out a breathtaking research project with no financial reward, simply because it so desperately needed to be done. Let this be the last nail in the coffin of climate extremism. I hope that, as a result of this work, David will be properly recognized by the Australian Government, which – unlike its unlamented predecessor – is open to the possibility that influences other than Man are the principal drivers of the climate. David’s work is heroic in its scale, formidable in its ingenuity, and – as far as a mere layman can judge – very likely to be broadly correct. 

MORE SOPHISTICATED  INVESTORS MAY SEND FUNDS DIRECTLY TO  MNESTHEUS@PAYPAL
WHO OFFERS A FIDUCIARY GUARANTEE THAT ANY MONEY LEFT OVER 
FROM OPTIONING 
SKI SLOPES & ICE MINES ON ST BARTS & PETIT MUSTIQUE
WILL BE SPENT ON R&R  
ON ADJACENT ISLANDS IN  THE SPANISH MAIN.

AS THE CASH RESERVE ON DISPLAY 
AT ITS HEADQUARTERS DEMONSTRATES: 
ANTILLES OFF-PISTE ICE MINING PTY
HAS ALREADY OUTPERFORMED COOL VENTURES GC

Saturday, June 18, 2016

                             CLIMATE  WARS : THE PREQUEL 

LIKE  SO  MANY  GOOD  SERIALS, THE  PRESENT  MELODRAMA  
BEGAN WITH  INVADERS  FROM  MARS
The heat is on as Martian climate skeptics and the Mafia conspire to steal America's hydrogen bombs and blow the Earth into the Sun in:
GEOENGINEERING  ISN'T  WHAT  IT  USED  TO  BE : 
IN 1952,  NARAB  THE  INVADER VIEWED  HYDROGEN BOMBS AS
THE BEST WAY TO  COMMUNICATE  CLIMATE SCIENCE  TO  THE  PUBLIC
If his eyebrows look familiar, it's because he ended up as  Mr. Spock.


THE  DEBATE  IS  OVER  EARTHMAN: WE BLAST YOU INTO THE  SUN

Thursday, June 16, 2016

                       T'WAS  THE  NIGHT  BEFORE  BREXIT  

SUBSIDY SAM   JOSH & THE BISHOP'S 
DELINQUENT  BOOK  FOR  DULL  INFANTS
CRIES OUT FOR A SEQUEL. HERE IT IS:

BISHOP SOAPY'S FAVOURITE BEACH TOY
Turbo the Toll Way Way Right Troll
had a very, very big  coal  snogger,
the  very, very, biggest even a well subsidized Northern Rock director could command.

The merry old coal snogger had spent   years  since  being  built rumbling  through  the estate,  puffing  hot air  at the village school pupils and staff. Sometimes he could even see them failing copies of The Telegraph about to wave the coal dust away, but a lot of the time he did not care- Tyneside trolls & tin men can be deaf as TV weathermen & dumb as teletubbies with wind turbine lobotomies.

Turbo was huge as Northern Rock, and being too big to fail, he could be seen for miles and miles. Much further than the land owner,  Earl Wayright, a filthy rich coal mining baron, had said you would be able to shoot over if you didn't mind bagging birds that tasted of creosote.

His friendly estate agent,  Watermelon Scam Sam The Malvern Water Man, who doubled as Master of Slaghounds for the Delingpole Quorn, had  even  shown  worried Turboville tenants  what  would  happen  to taxes  without  the  waybill  takings,  but  all  the  tiny print in green ink made it  hard for his  hedge fund  advisor, the  Performing  Artiste  Formerly Known As The Rocket Scientist to explain to Tess of the Turbovillers. 

But today Turbo was furious. Several of his thermal plant contracts had blown off, and coal nobody wanted was piled by the lorry,  train, and ship-load,  all over the school playground.

It  was  so  windy. Perhaps  even  a Force 9  gale, so  Turbo's snoggle toggle was spinning in the wind as he waited for the National Grid to declare him an earth art excavator before he disintegrated,  so he could claim the extravagant constraint payments on the grass growing in the wayright   that  went  to  his  friend, Northumberlandia,  the Earth  Art Goddess ( bouncy  castle  admission  free  with  season  ticket ). But alas,  Earl  Gumby  and  his  chaplain  Bishop Soapy  had  misjudged running  costs, and now hung turning in the wind, with pockets inside- out, and  directorships  missing,  and a  redundant cartoonist  in tow furiously sketching Turbo's bucket wheel as it came off its bearings ! 

It was a good job it wasn’t break time when the children would have been outside playing. With no enforced safety zone around this huge piece of industrial machinery and its whirling blades, it was very dangerous to be anywhere near him.


But no-one was telling the children that. Bishop Soapy was their friend and would help save the Estate School. The nice chancellor man who owned Watermelon Unrenewables LLC Jersey, Lord Weasel, had told them that. He had come to the school with a jolly shirtmaker, to teach the children  Ukipmanship, and all about how he would save their mining jobs right after he saved the UK from the EU, and the EU from the Syrian UNEP Vikings led by Erik the Red on the Inside, Green on the Outside, and how he had only frightened them all into thinking that, without him, they were all doomed to die because he needed the money.

It was scary stuff.  It gave them nightmares.  Watching climate cranks scare sensible voters away from Brexit by spewing infantile nonsense was very, very scary indeed. 






Tuesday, June 14, 2016

                                 WORLD  OF  CLIMATECRAFT ?

Climate modelling is metaphysical enough without Dominionist and evangelical critics doing violence to reality by calling it a religion.

 

A  recent article  points instead to the  structural resemblance between 'Stay@home'  climate  computer  networking efforts,  and the cultural phenomenon of MORG's, Multi-player  Online  Role-playing  Games.


Scientific American  reports  climate activist  and  Planetary Society president  Bill  Nye, The  Science Guy  has  diverted  thousands  of home computers  linked in the  society's  search  for Extraterrestrial Intelligence into the virtual world of climate model intercomparison.

Citing Myles Allen of Oxford and U.K. Met Office head Peter Stott, SciAm says of the antrthropogenic weather attribution initiative  :
"The only thing needed to run it is people with a modicum of nerdiness who compete with each other to analyze the most signals and track their contributions on leaderboards... 
Kevin Trenberth, an atmospheric scientist at the National Center for Atmospheric Research...says, and some scientists agree, that attribution studies that use climate models do not work well for weather events that are local and dynamic—...
"The issue always is, how good is the model, how realistic is the model compared with the real world?" he said. "With some of the work that is being done in the U.S., especially with regard to NOAA, a lot of the stuff which is being done is too heavily oriented toward the model, and the model isn’t good enough. As a result, the statements are not reliable for the real world."
Attribution scientists are aware of the limitations, of course. They choose their models carefully, layer different approaches and stress the limits of their knowledge. They often emphasize caveats with statements like, "It is a single model, or a single methodology." But sometimes, they don’t. 
The general public probably does not understand the nuance, acknowledged Stephanie Herring, an attribution scientist at NOAA’s National Centers for Environmental Information.

Back when supercomputers where rare and  expensive and networking idle PC's made excellent sense, my late physics mentor Phil Morrison was happy to let SETI  run on his own home computer. But in the decades since, Moore's Law has driven the cost of number crunching down by a factor of a million. Bill Nye  might ask himself if PC disaster fishing is intellectually serious, or an exercise in performance art.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

    THEY HATE  PARIS  IN  THE  SUMMER,  WHEN  IT  SIZZLES

The  censors  at  WUWT  refuse  to run  criticism of  Eric Worrall's latest anti-historical effusion, which compares past and present Paris floods and points to a famous high water mark to argue that climate change is somehow reducing flood risks.  Worrall asks:


"What is the history of flooding in Paris? Information on floods is a little difficult to find, perhaps because I don’t speak French, but the following from a critical OECD report on Parisian flood risk preparedness is revealing; 
While the possibility of a major flood of the Seine River may initially seem remote, it comes back regularly and arouses public attention as was the case during the spring of 2013 when floods took place upstream of the Seine River basin. Even though the flooding did not cause any major damage, it reopened the question of risk management and the region’s vulnerability to flooding. The prospect of a historic event is a key concern for French risk management stakeholders. The 1910 flood was particularly destructive in the context of an era marked by industrial and technological progress. Such events illustrate the difficulties societies have in compromising between economic development and the management of increased vulnerability of society and multiple economic sectors.
1924 and 1955 also saw major flood events in the Paris region and in the entire Seine basin. Nevertheless, the lack of a significant flood for more than 60 years tends to lessen the memory of risk."
Memory indeed fails Worrall, as he fails to provide the  2014 OECD report's most relevant conclusion: 
" the shock of the 1910 flood and smaller floods in 1924 and 1955 had prompted the building of dams upstream and civil engineering works in the city itself to prevent floods."
The bridge-guarding  Zouave didn't end up chin deep in Le Big Muddy  this time because  les anciens of the Ecole des Ponts et Chaussees began diverting the upper Seine into flood control watercourses a century ago,  mitigating how high the river can rise today. 

Thursday, June 9, 2016

                        A  COLD  WIND  FROM  LONDON

It may not change anything, but Naomi Klein's latest  
London Review of Books polemic has elicited this response:
Let them drown
What is one to make of Naomi Klein’s claim that our governments’ ‘refusal to lower emissions’ would have been ‘impossible’ without ‘institutional racism’ and ‘Orientalism’ (LRB, 2 June)? The three central facts of international climate change policy are that China is now overwhelmingly responsible for the rise in global emissions, that India is becoming a duplicate case, and that the economic policies they have adopted are acts of their sovereign wills. 
Having visited Beijing a number of times over the last 25 years, I need no persuading of the environmental harm that China’s policy is causing. But China and India are determined to repeat the industrialisation of the now advanced capitalist countries. Industrialisation isn’t just a matter of ‘sacrifice zones’ or the like. In focusing entirely on capitalism’s costs, Klein disparages or ignores its benefits, and thereby renders her criticisms ineffective. What has caused left-wing thought to erase Marx and Engels’s appreciation of capitalist achievement so completely that Klein can now seriously advocate a climate change policy that would deny the benefits of industrialisation to billions in poverty? It is fundamentally because of this denial that international climate change policy in its current form has no prospect at all of success. 
David Campbell 
Lancaster University

Naomi Klein says: ‘the climate crisis … might just be the catalyst we need to knit together a great many powerful movements.’ For everyone’s sake, I hope she’s wrong. A catalyst is a substance that speeds up a chemical reaction without being permanently changed itself. 
Martin Sanderson 
Ipswich

Naomi Klein writes that ‘climate change isn’t just about things getting hotter and wetter … it’s about things getting meaner and uglier.’ But that need not be so, not even under our current economic and political model. For dangerous climate change, as actually experienced by, for example, flood victims, is not primarily a matter of a slow rise in temperature: it is above all a matter of climate disasters. And, as Rebecca Solnit has argued, it may well be that the human capacity for building community and solidarity in the wake of disaster is going to be an enormous silver lining to the storm-clouds of our worsening climate. 
Klein probably has trouble seeing this because of her excessively pessimistic analysis in The Shock Doctrine of what happens in disasters. She rightly points out how neoliberal opportunism seeks to turn disasters into opportunities for elite profit. What she misses, thereby depriving the subjects of disaster of their agency, is the extraordinary and often successful spontaneous resistance to such opportunism on the part of the affected citizens. Classic examples are the popular response to the great San Francisco and Mexico City earthquakes; but much of the same was seen in the on-the-ground responses to Katrina and Sandy too. 
Rupert Read 
University of East Anglia, Norwich
Why am I not surprised that the most sympathetic letter comes from the Climate Research Unit's back yard ?

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

 They've Got To Be Carefully Taught,  Preferably Using Our Textbook

A new leaf: NW Ecoliteracy Collaborative aims to teach children sustainability  | 


“So now it’s like: ‘What do I do next?’” says Mike Rosen...
The answer to that question came in the form of Joe Tursi, a family friend and master’s student at Philadelphia University. As part of his degree in sustainable design, Tursi developed a process and project to promote ecological literacy in schools...
Calling their project NW Ecoliteracy Collaborative, Rosen and Tursi hope to grow it into state standards for sustainability education, such as those in Washington and Vermont....
As part of the nationwide effort called No Child Left Inside, Rosen sees an opportunity to weave together his passions for education and the environment. 
“Now it’s about secession planning,” he says. “What do I need to pass on to the next generation?”

Portland school board bans climate change-denying materials

Environmental groups say science is clear, so textbooks should be, too 

In a move spearheaded by environmentalists, the Portland Public Schools board unanimously approved a resolution aimed at eliminating doubt of climate change and its causes in schools. Bill Bigelow, a former PPS teacher and current curriculum editor of Rethinking Schools...  is also the co-author of a textbook on environmental education, A People’s Curriculum for the Earth. " 

Saturday, June 4, 2016

  THERE ARE MORE EXPENSIVE WAYS TO CONSERVE WATER
                           THAN PLASTIC RESERVOIR  BALLS !

Last summer, Los Angeles released a much-televised  mat of  floating black balls atop its chlorinated  reservoirs to reduce evaporation, and allay fears of carcinogenic bromate formation. But what began with the glint of a floating crystal model ended up looking like a magnified  mass of frog spawn when the balls sprouted a coat of green slime in a fiasco that necessitated their quiet removal.

While it saved an inconsequential amount of water-- barely a hundred acre-feet, and reduced bromate levels by only parts per trillion, the $36,000,000 experiment created a malodorous photochemical brew that released tons of toxic organochlorine compounds into LA's drinking water. Still, things could have gone worse economically had the SoCal water Solon tried quenching the city's thirst with these halogen-free quality products:

   ACQUA DI CRISTALLO TRIBUTO A MODIGLIANI- $60,000 PER 750 ML:

"Acqua di Cristallo Tributo a Modigliani is the world most expensive bottled water. This not only satisfies thirst but also empty the pocket because of high price. It basically belongs to France. The bottle of this drink is very unique and expensive as it is made up of 24 karat gold. Bottles of this drink come in a leather pouch. The drink inside it also contains 5 milligrams of gold dust which is very different from all other brands of drink. It is not affordable by everyone; only status conscious people purchase it."


KONA NIGARI WATER- $402 PER 750 ML:

"This drink is made and sold in Japan. It has many qualities and benefits like it reduces weight, stress and improve skin color as well. The main source of water is mostly desalinated sea water which is collected from the deep sea. It is expensive but also provides many benefits so it can be afforded due to different benefits. The bottle is very simple not much stylish and attractive


BLING – $40 PER 750ML:

As its name shows Bling and has much shiny jewelry on it to satisfy the name and make it attractive. The bottles are usually made up of crystals. Bottles are closed with a cork like of champagne. When opened it is very fresh as well as very pure. This company believes that one day people will use Bling on their victory and special occasions instead of champagne. It is an expensive drink so not affordable by everyone."

AQUA DECO -$12 PER 750ML:

"After hearing the name Deco people think about decorations. That is completely shown by the bottle which is made up with very unique and attractive design. Its bottle more looks like a perfume bottle rather than bottled drink. It has not only an attractive style but also very well in taste. Its huge achievement is this drink brand won an award called Best spring water. This drink is basically from Canada. The main source of it is from natural springs which show the purity of the drink. This is also very expensive drink brand so cannot be affordable by everyone. "
          ( Descriptions courtesy of the world's worst archaeology writer )

Top Ten Most Expensive  Bottled Waters

RankBrand  Price per  Acre-Foot
1.Acqua Di Cristallo Tributo a Modigliani$ 98,640,000,000
2.Kona Nigari Water$ 660,888,000
3.Fillico$ 360,036,000
4.Bling H2O$65,760,000
5.Veen$37,812,000
6.10 Thousand BC$23,016,000
7.Aquadeco$19,728,000
8.Lauquen Artes Mineral Water$9,864,000
9.Tasmanian Rain$8,220,000
10.Fine$8,220.000

Thursday, June 2, 2016

                                            THE END IS NIGH

Eight years  after the death of  William Buckley,  William Kristol 
has nominated the husband of Sarah Palin's ghostwriter as 
President of the United States.