SUBSIDY SAM JOSH & THE BISHOP'S
DELINQUENT BOOK FOR DULL INFANTS
CRIES OUT FOR A SEQUEL. HERE IT IS:
DELINQUENT BOOK FOR DULL INFANTS
CRIES OUT FOR A SEQUEL. HERE IT IS:
BISHOP SOAPY'S FAVOURITE BEACH TOY |
had a very, very big coal snogger,
the very, very, biggest even a well subsidized Northern Rock director could command.
The merry old coal snogger had spent years since being built rumbling through the estate, puffing hot air at the village school pupils and staff. Sometimes he could even see them failing copies of The Telegraph about to wave the coal dust away, but a lot of the time he did not care- Tyneside trolls & tin men can be deaf as TV weathermen & dumb as teletubbies with wind turbine lobotomies.
His friendly estate agent, Watermelon Scam Sam The Malvern Water Man, who doubled as Master of Slaghounds for the Delingpole Quorn, had even shown worried Turboville tenants what would happen to taxes without the waybill takings, but all the tiny print in green ink. made it hard for his hedge fund advisor, the Performing Artiste Formerly Known As The Rocket Scientist to explain to Tess of the Turbovillers.
But today Turbo was furious. Several of his thermal plant contracts had blown off, and coal nobody wanted was piled by the lorry, train, and ship-load, all over the school playground.
It was so windy. Perhaps even a Force 9 gale, so Turbo's snoggle toggle was spinning in the wind as he waited for the National Grid to declare him an earth art excavator before he disintegrated, so he could claim the extravagant constraint payments on the grass growing in the wayright that went to his friend, Northumberlandia, the Earth Art Goddess ( bouncy castle admission free with season ticket ). But alas, Earl Gumby and his chaplain Bishop Soapy had misjudged running costs, and now hung turning in the wind, with pockets inside- out, and directorships missing, and a redundant cartoonist in tow furiously sketching Turbo's bucket wheel as it came off its bearings !
It was a good job it wasn’t break time when the children would have been outside playing. With no enforced safety zone around this huge piece of industrial machinery and its whirling blades, it was very dangerous to be anywhere near him.
But no-one was telling the children that. Bishop Soapy was their friend and would help save the Estate School. The nice chancellor man who owned Watermelon Unrenewables LLC Jersey, Lord Weasel, had told them that. He had come to the school with a jolly shirtmaker, to teach the children Ukipmanship, and all about how he would save their mining jobs right after he saved the UK from the EU, and the EU from the Syrian UNEP Vikings led by Erik the Red on the Inside, Green on the Outside, and how he had only frightened them all into thinking that, without him, they were all doomed to die because he needed the money.
It was scary stuff. It gave them nightmares. Watching climate cranks scare sensible voters away from Brexit by spewing infantile nonsense was very, very scary indeed.