Saturday, October 26, 2013

And The Earth Moved

The Mercalli Scale Rises To The Challenge of Existential threat Inflation 
I           No effect       
II          Noticed only by sensitive people   
III         Resembles traffic vibration
IV        Walkers take notice; lights swing          
V         Sleepers awakened; bells ring       
VI        Trees sway, cans fall from shelves    
VII       General alarm, cracking of walls    
VIII      Chimneys fall, some building damage          
IX        Ground cracks, houses shift, pipes break           
X          Ground deeply cracked, cathedrals collapse
XI        Suspension bridges destroyed   
XII       No buildings left standing; objects thrown in air
XIII     Tree trunks pulped, car tires flattened
XIV     Mormon missionaries defect to Temple of Poseidon
XV      Al Gore changes telethon topic 
XVI     Shoes destroyed, cats burst into flames
XVII   Ground waves strike passing aircraft
XVIII  Marble emits CO2, quartz turns to sand

XIX     Coal  seams  transformed  to  diamond

XX      Scientologists  declare  victory

XXI    Fox News  invites  seismologist  to  comment