Essays &
Affadavys
Be quotation marks around decadal temperature averages the new boldface? Arrh, Cap'n Koonin's WSJ op-ed be old and lame as the smoked rats in the lobscouse o'a grog shop what hangs out burgees sayin "Fine Food" Don’t expect such usage to overhaul Bristol fashion English ... more»
The Brethren of the Somali Coast are askin how yer Arab left can openly embrace Muslims listing far to starboard? , says Hussein Ibish, (By the Black Spot, that be a Barbary Boatswain sure) such matey gestures ne'er be returned but by a poxy kiss o'Davey Jones camel ... more»
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| Published in 1925 |
Booty can’t buy happiness. Yet there be a strong correlation between the clime o' a country 'n its general level o' happiness, accordin to Surgeon Singer, the Senior Sawbones O' the fleet. (Gangway!) But as Aristotle (Bloody Levanter ! ) knew hotter is better...more»
Upstream of Basra al-Qaeda's hard aground so the lascars be moving their jihad to Europe, but turn Turk, OBL's marabouts say, and the caliphate will discount its scurvy port dues dockside !!more»...
Antarctica be a red state. March o' the Penguins ‘affirms norms O The Code like monogamy sacrifice'n child rearin'” says a critic. But some o' those penguins be gay... (Bilge!)
Thar be genuine intensity in the sufferin' o' Frida Kahlo. Yet thar be somethin' vaguely repulsive in the adulation she receives. Victimhood, aft all, be not beatitude... (Poxy landlubber!) more»
Editin' be a bloody trade(Arrgh!) But knives aren’t the exclusive property o' butchers. (Aaarrrrhhh!) Surgeons use 'em too. (Yo-ho-ho!) Blake Morrison defends editors wi’rusty cutlasses... (Aararrhhahr!
Sink me if Hilde Kschessinska: prima ballerina assoluta, mistress o' Czar Nicholas II ain't been buried at sea – a poppet o' vast skill, massive energy, 'n implacable willfulness ... (Dead men tell no tales.)
Shiver me timbers! Till the 18th century, Scots, like other Europeans, saw distilled spirits as medicine or a substitute for central heating. Then a few Jockoes started t'drink whisky for fun... (Pass the Demerara, mate)
The scurvy quacksalver Søren Kierkegaard rebuked the Christianity o' 'is day: rather than get rid o' the whorehouse, it preferred t' baptize it... (Arrgh!) more»
Piracy has a long 'n brutal ahoystory.
How it has been treated in law makes a useful precedent for terrorism: due process is paramount, so lay aft to see how Singapore deals with Somali sea dogs:
If they wears
The Red Sea rig
Make them dance
The hempen jig!
Belay yer New Orleans frenchies blubbering of hurricanoes! That City o' floods, graceful Venice has survived such calamities as fires, plagues 'n keelhauling of its poxy gondoliers: Nay U.S city has ever had t' endure the like...
Democracy? (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Good governance can include many components besides democratic participation, says Francis Fukuyama. (Bloody landlubber!)
God looks after drunken bilge rats, children, and Old Ironsides, but on what strange tide did He shanghai Palm Beach voters into orderin' a neocon agenda aloft into the riggin ? more»
“ Sink me, n'I have felt it meself,” Freeman Dyson said.
“The glitter o' nuclear weapons. It be irresistible if ye come t' 'em as a scientist: an illusion o' illimitable power.” Arrrh, Tis time for another broadside-- hail the powder monkey to fetch 10 more kilotons from the magazine ..more»
Letters of Marque
If the Bering Strait warms much further, will Mifstefs Palin put down her polar bear harpoon & run for Governor of ye Spanish Main?
Or will the cold water Corsairtrix play Joan Bonney, & plead her belly to get pro-life palaeo-pyrate backing for her run for EPA Administrator ?
As the begala of Obama Reis set sail from Martha's Vineyard to return the great Mughal's entourage to winter quarters, the quarterdeck (Where the smoking lamp be always lit) were abuzz with scuttlebutt of interns behaving badly in ye grog shops of Chappaquiddick
Prince-Towne on Delaware is where Richard Rorty did avast himself a “syncretist hack.” the scurvy scrivner caulked a philosophical mosaic fair and bye, but now ye Heartland Institute hath got his weather gage... more»
Smart as paint be Cap'n Trivers. He loves the logic o' evolution. Tis bilge to tell that dead men tell no tales when Philosopher's Mate Darwin o'ye barque Beagle dead reckoned a geometry o' time yar as the geometry o' space that lubber Newton or that Leghorno Bos'n Galileo ..Aaaarrh! more>>
Should local folk rebuild N'Orleans as she was? By Cap’n Lafitte’s bones, it be not a bad idea, says Carlin Romano. (Aaarrhhh, a streetcar named Desiree' has run down me parrot !)
Academic anthropology be in crisis, says Dan Sperber, who be not alarmed. (Yarrr, into the futtock shrouds ) “It deserves t' be in crisis. (Weigh anchor!) It deserves t' explode, let it do so”... (Bloody privateers!) more»
The FDA sawbones hath banned absinthe as it be "adulterated” with wormwood. (Arr!) Still, customs agents will typically ignore a bottle or two in yer duffel... (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) What next ? Smoke-free opium dens in Limehouse?
However baggywrinkle 'is private life, Arthur Koestler left astern an absorbin' body o' work for anyone who enjoys the battle o' ideas...
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USE IT TO READ THE SCIENCE
LITERATURE ?
WHY SINK ME,
THIS BE ME
THERMOMETER READING EYE !
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Curst be the Bones o’them as reprinteth this but as by the Articles of ye ALD’s permission for editin Pyratese be thirsty work requiring of costly Zacapa rum to suftain it.
So by the Code,pray send doubloons to ye Paypal account of Mnestheus@aol.com
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A warmin' earth? The Fig of Spain to yer squally monsoon n' mega-drought scuttlebutt, says Lord Admiral Monckton: if 'tis too mild in Madagascar, man the capstan and follow the polar bears through the Northwest Passage to plunder the China Trade ! more>
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Says a helmsman who reads the real thing at risk of keelhauling by Captain Koch ...
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 Beware and take care
O' the Bight of Benin
For one what comes out
Thar's twenty goes in
(Weigh anchor!)
If we ever find out that a basic tenet o' Buddhism be shown false by science, we simply must give it up. Who said it? The Dalai Lama, the kirtled heartland landlubber. more»
From Voltaire 'n David Hume t' Rob Ingersoll 'n Clarence Darrow, atheism used t'be on the march, religion on the aft foot. (Blimey!) Times change... more»
Th’doxy was dazzled by Sartre’s brilliance as a philosopher. For Simone de Beauvoir, terms like 'essence' or 'contin'ency' worked like a chest O’gold pistoles'... (Aaarrhhh, )
Sure, it’s naive t' think that all moral beliefs be universal. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) But thar may be an innate “moral sense” across cultures... (Damn me eyes.)
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