Tuesday, December 1, 2015


Broadcast television offers climate wars fans more than Fox TV.  In addition to the cornucopia of Green roughage pouring  nightly  from  PBS  news,  there's  a covey  of militantly apocalyptic End-Time Channels  reporting live from the Plain of Armageddon, where, for the past three-score years and ten, various evangelical luminaries have been predicting  hostilities will erupt any minute now.

It seems a shocking dereliction that the Harvard Center for Climate and Security  has yet to report on the impact of rising  sea  levels  on  the  operational art  in  this  critical future Theater of the War In Sinai Lebanon  Iraq Syria, for the Plain of Armageddon's strategic East end has been below sea level since Noah ran aground on Ararat.
Are evangelical hawks resisting the climatological common wisdom in hope of drumming up business for their sub building friends at General Dynamics & The Electric Boat company?  

As Greenland goes, so goes sea level. Once salt water rises to the threshold of Meggido, the Med will swiftly run downhill into the Galilee. As  surely as the Galillee's connected to the Dead Sea, should Mount Carmel shrug off talus in response to coastal erosion,  the River Jordan could turn into a gully in the sea floor without a single nuclear weapon being fired on either side.

When the pillars of salt settle, the inundation of the Biblical river's West Bank will separate glum Israeli settlers from indignant Palestinian indigenes, and give the Lebanon room to buld more seaside condos along its watery southern buffer zone.  It will also transform the regional  balance of naval power. 

What's not to like ? Israel gets a whole new East Coast, sea breezes cool off Syrian hotheads, Jordanian cuisine goes Mediterranean, and Gaza ceases to be an object of contention. Above all, Hollywood will prosper, for legions of writers will be needed to rescript  TV's existing End Times genre to accomodate fleets of satanic submarines and an apocalptic battlefield  full fathom five beneath the Med.  

By the time it all gets to prime time, I somehow expect all the dolphins will be on God's side and that  the cave of St. John of Patmos will remain high and dry.