TRUMP DEMANDS $ 5 TRILLION FROM ULTIMA THULE TO PAY FOR KUIPER BELT BORDER WALL

DEEP SPACE  FOSSIL PEANUT OIL  STRIKE 
LEADS TO DIPLOMATIC RECOGNITION OF PLANETESIMAL

ILLEGAL ALIEN SPOTTED BY NASA PROBES  BORDER SECURITY CAMERA HAS BEEN  GRANTED ASYLUM FOR TALKS WITH ENERGY SECRETARY PERRY, AND A FAMILY REUNION IN ATLANTIC CITY 

NEW JERSEY GOVERNOR CHRIS CHRISTIE SAYS HE, FOR ONE, WELCOMES HIS NEW ALIEN MASTER, AND HOPES THE GARDEN STATE WILL JOIN THE GALACTIC BOARDWALK EMPIRE