HOW CHINA LOST THE FAST FOOD BALLOON SPACE RACE

IN 2017, XI'S BEIJING DUCK PROPAGANDA BUREAU 

RAN INTO THE YANKEE INGENUITY OF A KENTUCKY

 STRATONAUT WHO KNEW HOW TO USE 

THE THERMOSPHERE AS AN AIR FRYER

Yesterday, China’s ambassador to France, vowed American use of the 200 foot spy balloon to “smear China”, could become “a trigger point of conflicts” in bilateral relations.  

Today, well-censored Chinese Twitter clone Sina Weibo is awash with patriotic opinion leader videos ridiculing the United States:

“China must not swallow its anger and allow the US to throw dirty water all over us.

 China must dare to expose the US’ nasty deeds.

There is no need to give them ‘face’ any more,” 

said a stock analyst.

“A civil balloon has revealed the imperialist United State’s bottom line,” 

said another commenter.

It remains to be discovered how a balloon the size of the US Capitol dome passed over hundreds of millions of  Chinese cel phone users without anyone uploading selfie with this sign in the heavens in the frame