Lord Monckton's clerk reports the viscount is resting comfortably after excommunicating himself in the aftermath of dark horse candidate Naomi Klein's win in UKIP's surprise Antipapal election.
After delivering his canonization concession speech and a brief eulogy to Sir Christopher Lee on the steps of the Vatican Observatory:
the former shirtmaker said: 'This changes nothing', and announced he would throw his coronet hat in the ring to seek nomination as Imperial Chancelor of the Sith and Editor of The Daily Telegraph in next year's Iowa caucus.
