SURPRISE PARIS ACCORD CONCESSION : TRUMP SWITCHES AIR FORCE ONE TO RADIUM FURNACE POWER

The war on coal was  renewed, and  the radium  furnace  powered Boeing 747-8  developed,  after  General  Electric's  coal - fired  jet prototype proved unable to lift off from Mar Del Lago, and former Department of  Transportation Chief  Scientist  Dr. S. Fred Singer floated the idea that fear of collateral damage from radium fallout would  deter  Islamic  terrorists  from  downing  the fossil fuel free plane, whose gilded interior tastefully reproduces the throne room of Breitbart columnist Ming The Merciless of Mongo. 

In the event of press pool cutbacks, the White House says a  dozen unemployed  West Virginia coal  miners  will  be  taken  aboard  to load  the  sixteen  tons of  number 1  pitchblend needed  to keep its batteries charged for circumnavigation, and several hundred more employed to man the capstans  at Andrews AFB and Mar Del Lago and wind the new AF-1's mighty titanium mainspring for takeoff.