Dear Distinguished Professor:
In the wake of your statements on PBS, the Cornbwall Alliance for the Stewardship of Creationism would like to invite you to participate in an interactive debate on climate change at the United Nations Climate Action Summit. The goal of the event is to do the Lord's work by obfuscating the most important and most discussed issues related to climate change.
It will feature up to five Climate Reality Project experts who have their pearls in a twist about some sort of imminent climate crisis, and up to five of the ten expert P-R hacks who've been writing the Heartland Institute Red Team playbook, and reading it aloud on Fox since the turn of the century.
Each evenly matched side will have equal time to make their case in a live stream tag team event.
Each participant will be given two minutes to make an opening statement, and twenty minutes to answer yes or no to the 50 most flabbergasting Gish Gallop questions our moderators, Lord Monckton, Marc Morano, Willie Soon & Mark Steyn can devise.
The moderator’s questions may also include:
§ Does the UN deserve 12 years of social media dictatorship to radically transform energy use and our vital bodily fluids to prevent unstoppable and catastrophic climate change?
§ Will melting glaciers release cataclysmic chemtrails or the Kraken ?
§ How accurate were those League of Nations temperature predictions anyway?
§ How much of the observed warming comes from bad thermometer siting, and how much is the Lord’s will?
§ Is climate change making extreme weather rhetoric more frequent and severe?
§ Is the heat island effect of huddled masses causing winter warming in Sanctuary Cities like New York?
§ Is climate change greening Iceland or making Greenland great again?
§ How many BP shares would it take to induce you to withdraw your current endorsement of the first law of thermodynamics?
§ Would export tariffs on fossil fuel reduce demand for climate sensitivity safe zones, or trigger stem cell research in rapidly developing nations?
§ Is it possible to cooperate in isolating the views of disinterested scientists from the corporate and political demographics paying for events like this ?
The Cornball Alliance will cover all of your travel expenses and contribute $1,000 to a charity of our choice . We hope this event will provide a valuable bipartisan service by bringing together climate publicists from all political perspectives to facilitate greater future cooperation in replacing scientific discourse with ever more advanced focus group and playbook products.
Regards,
S. Fredo Legree’ CEO The Cornball Alliance for the Stewardship of Creationism
