Essays & Affadavys Be quotation marks around decadal temperature averages the new boldface? Arrh, Cap'n Koonin's WSJ op-ed be old and lame as the smoked rats in grog shop lobscouse Tis time to keelhaul them what wants BP persiflage to overhaul Bristol fashion English ... more» The Brethren of the Somali Coast are as afeared O' sea level rise as the Bering Straits buccaneers are of a fall in seal level, says Hussein Ibish, (By the Black Spot, that be a Barbary Boatswain sure) , but his matey gestures ne'er be returned but by a poxy kiss o'Davey Jones camel ... more»
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Booty can’t buy immunity Yet there be a strong correlation between the clime o' a country 'n its general level of Covid, accordin to Sawbones Fauci, Senior Surgeon O' the fleet. (Gangway!) But Aristotle ( that Bloody Levanter ! ) says hotter be better...more»Upstream of Odessa, al-Qaeda's hard aground so the lascars be moving their jihad Northward. Turn Turk for Putin, and the caliphate will discount its scurvy Black Sea port dues dockside !!more»...
Antarctica be a red state. March o' the Penguins ‘affirms norms O The Code like monogamy sacrifice'n child rearin'” says a critic. But some o' those penguins be gay... (Bilge!) Thar be genuine intensity in the sufferin' o' Frida Kahlo. Yet where be Victimhood, when she sells smartly painted bits o'canvas for two million doubloons?.. (Poxy landlubber!) more» Editin' be a bloody trade(Arrgh!) Bloody cutlasses aren’t the exclusive property o' butchers and surgeons (Aaarrrrhhh!) Nature editors use 'em too. Blake Morrison defends swabs what stab wi'the edge and cut with the point
Sink me if Hilde Kschessinska: prima ballerina assoluta, mistress o' Czar Nicholas II ain't still buried at sea – a poppet o' vast skill, massive energy, 'n implacable willfulness ... (Dead men tell no tales.)
Shiver me timbers! Till the 18th century, Scots, like other Europeans, saw distilled spirits as a substitute for medicine and central heating. Then a few Jockoes started t'drink whisky for fun... (Pass the Demerara, mate)
The scurvy quacksalver Søren Kierkegaard rebuked the Christianity o' 'is day: rather than get rid o' the whorehouse, it preferred t' baptize it... (Arrgh!) more»
Piracy has a long 'n brutal ahoystory.
How it has been treated in law makes a useful precedent for terrorism: due process is paramount, so lay aft to see how Singapore deals with Somali sea dogs:
If they wears
The Red Sea rig
Make them dance
The hempen jig!
Belay yer New Orleans frenchies blubbering of hurricanoes! That City o' floods, graceful Venice has survived such calamities as fires, plagues 'n keelhauling of its poxy gondoliers: Nay U.S city has ever had t' endure the like... Democracy? (The chase is making full sail, matey!) Good governance can include many components besides democratic participation, says Francis Fukuyama. (Bloody landlubber!) God looks after drunken bilge rats, children, and Old Ironsides, but on what strange tide did He shanghai Palm Beach voters into orderin' neocons aloft into the riggin o' Mar del Lago? more» “ Sink me, n'I have felt it meself,” Freeman Dyson said. “The glitter o' nuclear weapons. It be irresistible if ye come t' 'em as a scientist: an illusion o' illimitable power.” Arrrh, Tis time for another broadside-- hail the powder monkey to fetch 10 more kilotons from the magazine ..more» Letters of Marque If the Bering Strait warms much further, will Mifstefs Palin put down her polar bear harpoon & run for Governor of ye Spanish Main? Or will the cold water Corsairtrix play Joan Bonney, & plead her belly to get pro-life palaeo-pyrate backing for her run for EPA Administrator ?
 | | ..Aaaarrh! |
Smart as paint Lord Monckton may be, but the discount Viscount be no match for Cap'n Count Luckner. Tis bilge to say dead men tell no tales .when those of the sea raider's barque .Seeadler scare Kiwi skippers to this day:
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| A warmin' earth? The Fig of Spain to yer squally monsoon n' mega-drought scuttlebutt, says Lord Admiral Monckton: if 'tis too mild in Madagascar, man the capstan and follow the polar bears through the Northwest Passage to plunder the China Trade ! more>  |
Says a helmsman who reads the real thing at risk of keelhauling by Captain Koch …
The Admiralty hath banned absinthe as grog, for it be "adulterated” with wormwood. (Arr!) Still, customs agents will typically ignore a bottle or two in yer duffel... (Yarrr, more grog, wench!) What next ? Mercants o'Doubt opening smoke-free opium dens in Limehouse?
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Ebola ahoy ! History be littered with “eternal” cities brought low by plagues like monkey pox from the armpit of Africa:
Sure, it’s naive t' think that all moral beliefs be universal. (The chase is making full sail, matey!) But thar may be an innate “moral sense” across cultures... (Damn me eyes.) | CAP'N WATTS EXPLAINING CLIMATE CHANGE TO COMMODORE OBAMA: "USE ME EYEPATCH TO READ THE SCIENCE LITERATURE ? NAY, SINK ME, IT BE ME THERMOMETER READING EYE !"
Should local folk rebuild N'Orleans as she was? By Cap’n Lafitte’s bones, it be not a bad idea, says Carlin Romano. (Aaarrhhh, a streetcar named Desiree' has run down me parrot !) Academic anthropology be in crisis, says Dan Sperber, who be not alarmed. (Yarrr, into the futtock shrouds ) “It deserves t' be in crisis. (Weigh anchor!) It deserves t' explode, let it do so”... (Bloody privateers!) more»
As Governor De Santis's barge set sail for Martha's Vineyard to reman its pleasure domes with shanghaid minions, the quarterdeck were abuzz with scuttlebutt of Venezualans behaving badly in ye grog shops of Chappaquiddick |
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