ROYALS RISK NEAR CATASTROPHIC GLOBAL WARMING IN TERRIFYING 12 MPG DIESEL SUV CHASE

THE DUCHESS OF SUSSEX AND HER CONSORT 

WERE HARRIED BY A HOWLING MOB OF HEAT ISLANDS 

AND DRUG-CRAZED TEEN VOGUE  PAPARAZZI  WHILE 

 TRYING TO ESCAPE A CATASTROPHICALLY BORING MS.

AWARDS CEREMONY IN A 260 HORSEPOWER SUV