Organized to make the climate wars more accessible, to the differently facted by the Non-International paraClimatology Committee ( NIPCC )
The Organizing Committee
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| Dr. Willie Soon Rev. Doctor Beisner Clara the Climate Clown |
In the ecumenical spirit of eliding climate and religion, this carbon-offset Olympiad for the Differently Science Facted is open to all, Dominionist and Evangelical Climate Scientists, Former Fox NewsAnchors, Vouduns Vertes, and eternal flame worshipers of all denominations.
TV sponsorship is sought for the following events:
The Never Too Soon Rising Sun Challenge
In this exciting challenge, contestants race to avoid incineration by solar variability by out-climbing the incandescent focus of the rising sun on a solar collector wall. Open to all climate deniers but starting positions are handicapped by moral stature.
The Moulin Blues
This extreme water sport features two water polo teams vying to score goals before they are sucked down to sea level by the blue maelstrom draining a melt water lake atop the Greenland icecap.
The Chariots Of Fire Prius Pentathelon
In this arduous paramilitary challenge, pentatheletes race to recharge an electric vehicle stranded on an Atlantic iceberg while carrying rifles and wearing skis
In the first stage of the event, pentathletes swim the vehicle's power cable across from the French island of St. Pierre to Newfoundland
In this arduous paramilitary challenge, pentatheletes race to recharge an electric vehicle stranded on an Atlantic iceberg while carrying rifles and wearing skis
In the first stage of the event, pentathletes swim the vehicle's power cable across from the French island of St. Pierre to Newfoundland In stage two, they run to St. John's to order an extension cord only to discover that metric plugs have been banned in solidarity with Brexit
Stage four is an arduous cross-country ski traverse of the sea ice to a Labrador Walmart that has the needed three prong two phase plug in stock
In the final lap, the surviving contestants vie to harness the completed EV charging cable reel to a polar bear, and ride it to the iceberg.
The Hockey Stick High Vault
In this exciting variant on the ancient Native American sport of walrus hide tossing, a 5-meter octagon of rubber graph paper is stretched between hockey sticks to create a high jump trampoline . The first contestant to touch the tropopause or asphyxiate wins.
The Dryathelon
Dryatheletes face the future tactical problem of sand skiing from The Greenland Dune Cap to shoot a coastal polar bear. The largest rug wins.
The Endangered Javelin Throw
In this ambitious beach sport teams of swimmers strive to fling a norwhal out of the water to impale a sandy beach dart bullseye with its unicorn-like horn.Venues
After the Paris events, the games will adjourn to Francophone Africa, for the traditional Paris Prime Meridian Climate Tug of War in the underwater East Pole Olympic Village,( EPOV Club Zed ) at Longitude Zulu on Ghana’s Gold Coast.
Directions to EPOV for Climate Lobbyists:
From K-Street head East and turn your amphibious vehicle south on the Prime Meridian until you arrive at the Equator, where you can film a spot ad about absence of the tropospheric hot spot that proves the falsity of watermelon CAGW modeling.
Directions to EPOV for Climate Lobbyists:
From K-Street head East and turn your amphibious vehicle south on the Prime Meridian until you arrive at the Equator, where you can film a spot ad about absence of the tropospheric hot spot that proves the falsity of watermelon CAGW modeling.
To reduce energy costs and avoid framing issues, the Special Winter Climate Olympics will be held in midsummer on the Greenland Icecap, or adjacent Arctic sea ice, if there is any.
Bernstein’s Fossil Fuel Amber Ale, brewed from real Miocene Baltic amber , will be available gratis in the correspondent's lounge.
