WATERFRONT PROPERTY ON THE ROAD TO HELL

Where some see the future as a highway to climate hell, others spy opportunity. Recent reports of increased ice melting sensitivity may reinforce the plans of rising Middle East real estate mogul, Jared Kushner. 

The former First Son In Law learned all about geoengineering as head of the White House Office of American Innovation. While his idea of repurposing the  Gaza Strip as beachfront condos didn't fly, in international real estate development, it pays to think big, witness Donald Trump's proposal  buy Greenland from Denmark.

One of the few uncontroversial things to emerge from the geoengineering controversy is that it is easier to melt ice than to save it. With enough crop dusters spreading soot, the meltdown of the Greenland Ice Cap could be radically accelerated, setting the stage to inundate the Eastern Med in less time than it takes to get to Net Zero. 

Producers would pay billions to film such a project, for End-Time channels focused on the Plain of Armageddon generate excellent advertising revenue, as  evangelical luminaries have warned of hostilities erupting there every day for the last three-score years and ten. 

Once the Med reaches Meddigo's doorstep it will start to chainsaw the alluvial landscape as the Straits of Golan open, and its waters rush a thousand feet downhill into the Dead Sea in a scene worthy of Cecil B. De Mille.

As the Pillars of Salt  dissolve into the sunset,  the Gulf of Gomorrah will rise to erase the contentious River Jordan from the Levantine political landscape, without a single nuclear weapon being fired. 

A  rising tide lifts all Arks, and Peace will spread through the region like wildfire or regime change as rising waters part militant settlers from indignant indigenes and the balance of waterfront property is restored.  

What's not to like?  The West Bank of the Jordan will become Israel's East Coast, with a cruising ground rivaling the Adriatic- the Golan Archipelago!  Sea breezes will cool Syrian hotheads,  a short canal connecting new Gulf of Gomorrah and the old Gulf of Aqaba will create a Suez workaround, Jordanian cuisine will go Mediterranean and Gaza will… er, where's that?