SINCE TRUMP SAYS SEA LEVEL RISE ONLY SERVES TO INCREASE WATERFRONT PROPERTY VALUES, TUCKER CARLSON NATURALLY LAMBASTES FORMER PRESIDENT OBAMA AS A CLIMATE HYPOCRITE, FOR BUYING A HOUSE ON MARTHA'S VINEYARD,
IN CONTRAST TO OBAMA'S VIEW FROM
A HILL HALF A MILE FROM THE OCEAN
ON AN ISLAND A HUNDRED YARDS HIGH:
TUCK'S FLORIDA BEACH HOUSE SITS ON A SANDSPIT
A STONE'S THROW FROM THE SEA
MAX. ELEVATION 13 FEET
I LIVED A MILE SOUTH OF HIS PLACE, UNTIL A STORM TIDE SENT SALT WATER UNDER MY DOOR,
AN EVENT MY TEXAN NEIGHBORS MET WITH GOOD GRACE, AS OLD BOCA'S CHARM OFFSETS THE RISK
WHILE HURRICANE IAN UNSURPRISINGLY INUNDATED TUCK'S BEACH HOUSE, TUCK AND HIS FAMILY WERE ABSENT , SAFE IN THEIR CUSTOMARY HURRICANE SEASON RETREAT,
A MAINE TOWN TWENTY MILES INLAND , WHERE WATERFRONT PROPERTY
MEANS A POND 700 FEET ABOVE SEA LEVEL
WHEN MILTON HIT, THE CARLSONS WERE AGAIN THANKFULLY ABSENT WHEN THE BEACH PAID A CALL ON THEIR BEACH HOUSE:
AND GASPARILLA ISLAND SUFFERED NOT A SINGLE HURRICANE CASUALTY, THE ENTIRE POPULATION HAVING PRUDENTLY AND PROVIDENTIALLY GOTTEN OUT OF DODGE, WOMEN & CHILDREN FIRST, AND SHERIFF & FIRE DEPARTMENT LAST