Tuesday, November 25, 2014

WINTER IS ICURLEN IN, LHUDE SING GODDAMM

Fox TV  owes  Greg Laden  one for identifying an underutilized corporate asset :
"The term “Polar Vortex” was thrown around a lot last year, in reference to the persistent mass of very cold air that enveloped much of southern Canada and the US. As you will remember, Rush Limbaugh accused climate scientists and librul meteorologists of making up the polar vortex to scare everyone into thinking climate change is real." 
This is a semiotic no-brainer- why should Fox waste computer animation dollars on the dodgy vorticity meme when it owns the ideal body double for the blustery wind gods of  antiquity:
What better avatar for Boreas than the greatest blowhard of our age?  I tell you, Fox, this could be the next Cats, for it even comes with lyrics scored by T. S. Eliot's editor:
Winter is icumen in,     
Lhude sing Goddamm,     
 
Raineth drop and staineth slop,
And how the wind doth ramm!
     Sing: Goddamm.
Skiddeth bus and sloppeth us,

An ague hath my ham.
Freezeth river, turneth liver,
     Damm you; Sing: Goddamm.
Goddamm, Goddamm, 'tis why I am, Goddamm,
     So 'gainst the winter's balm.
Sing goddamm, damm, sing goddamm,
Sing goddamm, sing goddamm, DAMM.






MANN v. STEYN : DON'T TELL THE JURY

It may be past last call  for amicus briefs from Whoopi Goldberg, but before the advocates enter the courtroom, and the scales of justice begin to twitch in the case of Mann v. Steyn, time remains to admit in evidence both:
  Mark Steyn's July 8, 2013
   National Review column:
"As in the Congolese civil war, where both sides agreed that pygmies made excellent appetizers, in the Egyptian political stand-off, the young men of both pro- and anti-Morsi forces agree on little else except that the chicks are fair game. This ugly aspect has gone strikingly under-reported in America for over two years, ever since CBS chose to downplay the rape of its own correspondent. So I’m very glad NPR chose to do a story on this grim subject, “Sexual Assaults Reportedly Rampant During Egypt Protests.” To put it in the terms famously formulated by Whoopi Goldberg, this isn’t rape-rape but rape-rape-rape: 
The rights group says the latest attacks follow an all too familiar pattern since mass protests began in 2011: A few men force a girl or woman away from the people she’s with; rip off her clothes and assault her. Passersby join in the attacks, which range from groping to gang rapes that can last more than an hour. 
This is why President Morsi keeping his first lady in a body bag is more than a fashion statement, but a statement about a society’s fundamental views on who has value and who doesn’t. That manifests itself at all levels below him — including the justice system..."

And the tasteful coffee cups & T-shirts still on sale at  MarkSteyn.Com: 
Unfortunately for the defense, these texts leave some doubt as to whether the figure on the right is Mark Steyn's fiance', or his lunch?

Monday, November 24, 2014

ANTHROPOCENE PETROLOGY FOR LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS

THE NEW YORK REVIEW 
OF POSTMODERN GEOLOGY
Deconstructing the un-natural history of the anthropocene epoch since 2006

The discovery of a Mexican gypsum deposit that upstages Industrial Light & Magic's best SFX efforts has led to hopes that in the Anthropocene Epoch, all rocks will be famous for 15 minutes.

This has led to an expanded search for out of this world terrestrial geology, but while discoveries are often made in the library, field directors may find it hard to find hard copies of NYRPG 's annual review of new anthropocene rock & mineral deposits:
Macadamite
While most sedimentary strata  form extensive landscape-covering horizontal sheets, hydrocarbon rich macadamite occurs only as thin two dimensional stringers or veins that often bear rectangular  metallic geode-like structures containing vertibrate fossils.
Interwoven vein masses of macadamite of astonishing extent and complexity have been mapped in Southern California, and form a continuous belt extending atop Cretaceous formations from Maryland to Massachusetts.
Saddamite   
More mafic than Maccadamite, this high-temperature no-pressure  liticc facies results from extreme local warming of holocene tar sands in Kuwait.
Saddamite consists of  sand grains in a matrix of carbon black and pyrolized asphaltenes, a petrogenesis  that defies explanation.  While high nickel and vanadium porphyrin levels suggest an  origin in marine cretaceous petroleum, no natural or commercial explanation exists for the infernal thermal fluxes needed to generate pure carbon in such amounts, nor do type specimens show signs of natural catastrophe or nuclear winter weathering.

Trinitite
The earliest dated rock of the Postmodern epoch is a green-violet, obsidian-like fused lithic 
The holotype,  a thin stratum of  un-natural glass emplaced in a shallow anticline in the White Sands of New Mexico. has a tritium age of 6.9 milli-eons, slightly older than deposits in the Terminal Showa formation of southern Japan. Kazakhstan, China's Lop Nor basin, Nevada, India, Pakistan and some islands in French Polynesia.


Tellerite 
An ephemeral water-soluble calcian variety of trinitite that resembles popcorn while it lasts. It was briefly reported on some now vanished Pacific coral atolls, but the holotypes disintegrated in the first rains to fall following the H-bomb tests that created them. Highly enriched in transuranic elements, all trinitite species look far older than their years.
Cryabase
The new discipline of meteopetrology focuses on cryabase, the only terrestrial rock consisting enirely of condensed air.  

The minerals found in this paragon of geological minimalism include native oxygen and nitrogen, ice  II, IIIb & IV crystals , priestlyite (the carbon analog of silica) ,,and  minute crystalites of argon,  Freon, neon, krypton and radon .
The type locality at Cape Canaveral features aircicles and frost-like masses surrounding  liquid hydrogen tanks, where cryabase  avalanches were first noted as a cause of self-inflicted meteor damage to Space Shuttles.

While rare outside the Kuiper Belt, cryabase is expected to become depressingly common in the inner solar system if Senator Inhofe's views on global warming  are correct.


Caution should be exercised in collecting cryabase samples, as geologists' picks tend to embrittle severely at frozen air temperatures, and the temptation to lick field samples for a better view of microstructure can lead to severe frostbite of the tongue.
Saganite
Phenomenally cold and dark variety of cryabase. Arbitrarily small amounts in atmosperic suspension can reportedly able to  lower global temperatures below freezing for 40 days and 40 nights, but the report published in Science in 1983 seems to have been based on misindentification of the related species, apocryphite, found in many factoid deposits, but lacking the valuable consciuosness raising properties of the material originally published . See Ttaprophyre 
Ttaprophyre A geometaphysical phase arising from hermeneutic metamorphism of a factoidite melange during high-pressure deformation professionel. Ttaprophye was discovered  by Johnny Carson in 1983 when 'nuclear winter' suddenly outcropped on The Tonight Show during the Cold War. On skeptical examination, Saganite, ( not to be confused with Cosmochlore),  proved  to be the reified product of  a PR campaign, semiotically indistinguishable from the War of the Worlds symplectite repored in 1938 by Welles et al. from  near Grovers Mills New Jersey.
The Ground Zero Gneiss
Known only from deposits in lower Manhattan, this so far unique product of political catastophism is a mylonized migmatite containing portlandite and powdery gypsum,  asbestos fibers , and enormous laths and corrugated sheets of metallic iron with a grain structure suggesting hot deformation. Some layer contain mica-like sheets of carbonized fossil cellulose with angular markings more legible than graphic granites, some of which appear to pertain to world trade.

The Tora Bora Metapeltites
Some anthopocene cave deposits in the Hindu Kush and Waziristan syntaxis show signs of shock and awe  deformation. Extensive contamination with clasts of lead and depleted uranium frustrated  early efforts by petrologists seeking to collect the $50 million reward offered for a specimen lage enough for  positive DNA identification of the elusive binladenite phase, later found elsewhere in Pakistan. 

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

INCREDIBLY LOUD AND AMAZINGLY CLOSE

What led to last week's major wardrobe malfunction at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory ? 

Does the short list of Persons of Interest include the design chief of Lord Monckton's Scottish  shirt skunkworks?

Mission Control denies that the Huntsville meteorologists who lost their bearings in the satellite temperature space-race have been transferred to the Office of Space Haberdashery's ultrasecret Mona Kea Observatory, reportedly tasked with detecting supernovae, magnetars,  Aloha shirts, and other high-luminosity objects that threaten the retinas of PBS viewers.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Mann v. Steyn : Approaching The Bench From The Penalty Box

AFTER THREATENING TO  -BRAIN THE JUDGE- SUBMIT AMICUS  BRIEFS
PALO OCCIDI  AND  NOLLE PERCUSSI   
 THE  ST. TRINIAN'S  THIRD  FORM  TORTS  &  HOCKEY  CLUB
HAS JOINED THE MARK STEYN DEFENSE TEAM

Sunday, November 9, 2014

HOW MANY ECONOMISTS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A CLIMATE POLICY?


ONE,
 IF IT'S MILTON FRIEDMAN 
If you're looking for intelligent life in mid-America,
try the University of Chicago
before you turn to the Heartland Institute

Thursday, October 23, 2014

BRAINWASHING THE COOKIE MONSTER

WE DON'T WANT TO EAT YOUR BRAIN 
JUST WASH IT A LITTLE
By far the scariest creature seen abroad this Halloween night is a new sort of climate zombie, the result of bien pensant social engineers practicing the dark art of behavior modification on hapless Girl Scouts.
  
Troop leaders seeking to recruit these unfortunate cookie monsters into the Child Army of the Climate Wars will find helpful tips in an AGU abstract that epitomizes communitarian cant masquerading as social science: 

          Victoria Christine Rodriguez1, Matt LappĂ©2, June A. Flora3, Nicole M. Ardoin1 and Thomas N. Robinson1,
Abstract:
Ultimately, effective climate change communication results in a change in behavior, whether the change is individual, household or collective actions within communities. 

We describe two efforts to promote climate-friendly behavior via climate communication and behavior change theory.

"focused on behavior change rather than...climate knowledge"

Importantly these efforts are designed to scale climate communication principles focused on behavior change rather than solely emphasizing climate knowledge or attitudes. 

Both cases are embedded in rigorous evaluations (randomized controlled trial and quasi-experimental) of primary and secondary outcomes as well as supplementary analyses that have implications for program refinement and program scaling. 


In the first case, the Girl Scouts “Girls Learning Environment and Energy” (GLEE) trial is scaling the program via a Massive Open Online Course (MOOC) for Troop Leaders to teach the effective home electricity and food and transportation energy reduction programs. 



The second case, the Alliance for Climate Education (ACE) Assembly Program, is advancing the already-scaled assembly program by using communication principles to further engage youth and their families and communities (school and local communities) in individual and collective actions.
Scaling of each program uses online learning platforms, social media and “behavior practice” videos, mastery practice exercises, virtual feedback and virtual social engagement to advance climate-friendly behavior change. All of these communication practices aim to simulate and advance in-person train-the-trainers technologies.
As part of this presentation we outline scaling principles derived from these two climate change communication and behavior change programs.

(1) Stanford University, Stanford, CA, United States, (2) Alliance for Climate Education, Oakland, CA, United States, (3) Stanford University, H-Star, Stanford, CA

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

ANNALS OF BELATED DISCOVERY : THE EAST POLE

The Age of Discovery endures:
A map of palaeomagnetic field drift published by Italian and American researchers  in   Geophysical Journal International ,  based  on  a continuous sequence  of   lacustrine  sediments  outcropping in  the Apennines  reveals that in the 787th millennium BC, Earth boasted an East Magnetic Pole near  Latitude 0  Logitude 0 in the Bight of Benin.

It follows that for as long as it took for the magnetsphere's focal point to drift across the Equator, tropical nights were brightened by the light of the Aurora Orientalis shining over the Prime Meridian:


 On the far side of the world in the same brief epoch, Homo erectus could marvel at the Aurora Occidentalis illuminating the Pacific around the West Magnetic Pole in the waters north of Tuvalu.
 Now that Sagnotti et al.'s 

Extremely rapid directional change during Matuyama-Brunhes geomagnetic polarity reversal

has rewritten the history of polar discovery at right angles to Perry & Amundsen, the RGS and National Geograpic can offer a prize for the first expedition to gather direct evidence of East and West Polar palaeomagnetism from the seabed around 0o0o  and  0o, 180o.


Once the great drill ship, wind surfer & submarine race from pole to pole is over, a new era of quadrupole modeling can begin!







Monday, October 13, 2014

NONE IS GREENER THAN GREAT CTHULHU



"WE  LIVE  ON A  PLACID  ISLAND  OF IGNORANCE  IN   THE  MIDST  OF THE  BLACK SEAS  OF INFINITY, AND  IT  WAS  NOT  MEANT  THAT   WE   SHOULD   VOYAGE   FAR."


Lovecraft also wrote the final word on the fate awaiting climate contrarians as the science unfolds:

"The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of dissociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality...that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age."
“The Call of Cthulhu”, by H.P. Lovecraft, Weird Tales magazine 1928,




http://vvattsupwiththat.blogspot.com/2014/10/a-very-large-grain-of-salt.html