If only I had the film rights to James Hansen's AC&P jeremiad !
Somebody has to win the next Climate Oscar, and Hansen's Day After Tomorrow rehash would make a disaster film of Biblical proportions.
Forget Miami turning into Atlantis. Just think what an Antarctic meltdown could do for waterfront property values in The Holy Land :
Hollywood wants in because broadcast TV offers Climate Wars fans more than the Fox Network. The apocalyptic End-Time channels have embedded reporters reporting 24-7 from the Plain of Armageddon, where evangelical luminaries have been predicting hostilities will erupt any minute now for over three-score years and ten. Although The Center for Climate and Security has yet to analyze the impact of rising sea levels on the operational art in this strategic theatre, its east end has been below sea level since before Noah's Flood.
A rising tide lifts all Arks, and as the pillars of salt sink into the sunset, the Dead Sea will be born again, as the Jordan broadens into the Gulf of Gomorrah, parting glum West Bank settlers from indignant Palestinian indigenes, and giving the Lebanon ample room for seaside condos along its southern shore as a brave new Levantine Waterworld franchise transforms the regional balance of power.
Glory be, how tinseltown will prosper ! It will take legions of writers to rescript End Times TV as Satanic submarine fleets replace battle tanks on an Apocalyptic battlefield full fathom five beneath the Med. As soon as the European Geosciences Union signs over the film rights, Disney Imagineering can start on a Christmas movie recasting the Kraken as some rough beast slouching towards Bethlehem to be born.
Somebody has to win the next Climate Oscar, and Hansen's Day After Tomorrow rehash would make a disaster film of Biblical proportions.
Forget Miami turning into Atlantis. Just think what an Antarctic meltdown could do for waterfront property values in The Holy Land :
Which is where Hansen et al. come in : as Antarctic ice goes down, sea level goes up, and once the Med laps at the threshold of Meggido, its waters will swiftly run downhill into the Galilee, and sure as the Galillee is connected to the Dead Sea, wave action will erode Mount Carmel's coastal talus until salt water rushing down the Golan Straits turns the River Jordan into a gully on the sea floor in a scene worthy of Cecil B. De Mille, all without a single nuclear weapon being fired!
What's not to like? Israel gets a whole new East Coast, sea breezes will cool off Syrian hotheads, LNG supertankers get to transit Suez, and Jordanian cuisine goes Mediterranean. Best of all, having gone glug-glug for good, Sodom, Gomorrah, and the Gaza Strip cease to be objects of dismay and cultural contention.
