Thursday, December 28, 2017


Canada is really cold right now.Below, a series of shocking statistics to bolster your indignance that somebody thought it was a good idea to put a country here.

It’s colder in Winnipeg than it has ever been in Scotland (ever)
Scotland is famous for its harsh conditions. How else to explain a culture built around fried food and wool? Regardless, the coldest ever temperature recorded in Scotland is only -27.2 C — and even then it was a rare occurrence that occurred on the country’s northernmost tip. In Winnipeg on Boxing Day, meanwhile, it approached -30 C. This is food for thought when considering the shock of Scottish immigrants who came to settle the prairies.
Honestly, we should never have trusted the cold weather credentials of a nation of kilt-wearers.
Approximately 0.00003 per cent of Canada isn’t freezing right now
Canada has more land than almost anyone on earth: 10 million square kilometres of it. Right now, all of that land is frozen save for a few small patches of southwestern B.C.
Saskatoon is colder than both the north and south poles
the Norwegian Meteorological Institute... estimate for this week was that the top of the world was no colder than  -23 C; six degrees warmer than Saskatoon’s Wednesday low of -29 C. Meanwhile, the South Pole — which is consistently the colder of the two poles — is -23 C.
Alberta’s warmest place was almost as cold as Mars...on Boxing Day... all of Alberta was about as cold as Mars’ Gale Crater... this week, the highest temperature experienced by the rover were -23 C.A Calgary Boxing Day shopper, therefore, might have found themselves getting into a car that was literally colder than a Martian spacecraft. 
Most of the world’s animals would die if left in Montreal
...load up two of every animal on a modern  Noah’s Ark and unload them in Montreal...the vast majority of  them  would  freeze  to  death within  hours...  the  world’s  most devastating mass-extinction since the disappearance of the dinosaurs. 
The  frozen  mounds  of  corpses would technically include humans... outside in Montreal without your coat at -20 C and you’ll be lucky to last a few hours.