CAN DISNEY SAVE US FROM THE VEGAN THIMBULWINTER?

The Vegetariat is at wits end to find protein alternatives that make mealworms and crickets look comparatively appetizing, for in advertising the climate crisis as an immanent eschaton, activists have deprived fake meats and Falafel Fridays of the power of myth, by alienating millions of tofu-friendly Scandiavian Social Democrats from the belief that the ultimate existential threat is the completion of Óðin's iceberg-proof funeral barge

 constructed  entirely out of marine-grade human fingernails, as fit object for biosynthesis as lab-grown chicken or Frankenbeef.

  

Here begins the saga of Snorri The Meatless  
And thus it ends.